Thirty Thoughts on Turning 30: #3 My Ridin’ Days


As a kid, I loved being swirled, twirled, lifted and tossed.  (I’m not sure if I still like having these things done to me since I have been too heavy to swirl, twirl, lift and toss for quite some time.)

Because of this love for rapid movement, I was given a spring-loaded rocking horse for Christmas one year.  (Probably because my family was sick and tired of having to swirl, twirl, lift and toss me themselves.)

I don’t remember much about being 3 and 4 years old…but I do remember riding that horse every day.

And by “riding,” I mean “careening back and forth as vigorously as humanly possible.”

During one of these strenuous rides, I lost my grip and was thrown from my horse, landing nose-first against the sharp corner of  a nearby coffee table.

I screamed.  I cried.  I bled.

And the next day I got back on the son-of-a-bitch…with strict instructions from my Momma to be more careful for the love of God!

(For the record, a hairline scar still resides under my right nostril–my trophy from the incident.)Eventually, the springs gave out on my old rocking horse and it would be another 12 years before I mounted a horse.

I had never ridden a real horse before and my only knowledge of these creatures was that they spooked easily and bucked people off their backs at a moments’ notice.

So when my friend pulled me up onto the back of his old horse, I kept rehearsing in my mind how I would roll out of the way in the event the horse bucked me off.

He’s not gonna buck us off, my friend reassured me.

And then we came upon a pack of dogs.

Not wild dogs.

Just annoying, barking dogs.

Needless to say, the old horse got spooked and reared up on his back legs.

With Chuck Norris-like quickness, I hit the ground, curled into a ball and rolled over onto my feet into a ninja fighting stance.

Since that day, I have kept my distance from horses with the exception of carousels and Lord of the Rings movies.

I guess a noble goal to set for myself for the next 30 years of my life would be to conquer my fear of horses and become a master rider.

Or just learn Spanish.

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4 thoughts on “Thirty Thoughts on Turning 30: #3 My Ridin’ Days

  1. I had one of those horses when I was little. My grandma got it for me. And then whenever we were at Mott’s 5 and 10, I would always ask if I could ride the mechanical horse out front (you know, the ones that rock back and forth for about 30 seconds for one measly quarter?) I would always ask and she would always say, “No. You have a rocking horse at home.”

    I pretend not to be afraid of horses, but I think I really am deep down inside.

    • OMG! We would BEG to ride that same kind of mechanical horses at K-mart. I loved K-mart because of those horses. And Momma told me the same thing, too! I think she let me ride them once. haha, thanks for sharing, Pam. 🙂 (You should be afraid of horses)

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