Are there times when you feel so angry but you don’t know why?
Or maybe you do know why, but you don’t feel like opening up that can of worms [again]?
Last month, on a random Wednesday afternoon, I realized that I have been very angry for a very long time. At first I told myself that I had nothing to be angry about.
Why should I be angry? I asked myself, I have a loving husband, good friends, a job, a home.
Nevertheless, I still couldn’t shake the feeling that life was giving me the finger. And so I began to write a list of everything that was a source of anger/bitterness/resentment to me at that moment.
Right off the bat, I came up with 20 things. Then I waited a few more minutes and came up with another five.
After skimming my list, I noticed that all of the things I was angry about were hang-ups I have carried for months and even years.
Hang-ups. They really do make one fell all hung up–stuck.
I was tired of feeling stuck, so I rewrote all of my hang-ups onto strips of paper and tied them to a hanger.
A hanger full of hang-ups.
Or “anger art.”
It was a silly way to spend an hour, but putting all of those hang-ups in writing gave me a sense of empowerment. In other words, I don’t always know how to discard toxic feelings, but I do know how to discard paper.
It took me a few weeks before deciding that today was the day to let go of all my hang-ups.
Some were easy to throw away.
Some were not.
I will continually have to let go of road rage, especially with all of the spiteful drivers in this town! Can I get a witness?
Of all my hang-ups, the biggest by far is the fear that success has passed me by, that I will always be mediocre. This, like the road rage, is something I will have to throw into the fire on a daily basis.
In fact, I’m pretty sure I will encounter all of my hang-ups again. However, I know now that I don’t have to carry them around with me and let them ruin my day because:
1. There is a season for everything in life, even if it doesn’t follow my timing.
2. People are people; don’t try to change them.
3. If all else fails, don’t take it personally.
An empty hanger.
I know it won’t stay that way for long.
But this time, I won’t let it get so full.